LOST IN TRANSLATION

We used to vacation in Montreal fairly often. We loved to walk around in this beautiful city exploring the different restaurants as we loved to try something new each night for dinner. Montreal is a French speaking city in the Canadian province of Quebec. They are extremely nationalistic as is evidenced by their laws regarding signs in public places. All signs must be in French with smaller English translations below as, after all, Canada is an English speaking country. Quebec is, however, a French speaking province. These laws are strongly enforced by language police who roam the streets and fine stores who do not comply. This is serious stuff with heavy fines, believe it or not.

Our hotel was on Rue Sherbrooke, which is a major thoroughfare of Montreal with many fine hotels, the Museum of Fine Arts and McGill University among the more important landmarks. We heard of a French Restaurant which was recommended by a friend of ours who lived in a neighboring town where we lived in New York. The restaurant was on a street off Sherbrooke so we decided one evening to make a reservation and have dinner there. We drove to the restaurant and eventually found it. There was a parking lot adjacent to the restaurant but as it was an Avis lot I was afraid to park there and get a ticket or worse, towed away. So we drove around and found the closest street parking and walked to the restaurant. For the life of me I can't remember the name of the restaurant or the street it was on, but we went there often.

It was a delightful restaurant with a great French kitchen. The dinners were always a highlight of our trips. After a while, I somehow found out that the Avis parking lot was the parking lot of the restaurant. It seems that the word AVIS, pronounced "ahvee" is the French word for "notice" and the sign advised people that this lot was only for patrons of the restaurant and adjoining patisserie. Anyone not customers would be towed away. It took awhile, but we finally started to park there for dinner. There was no English translation as the sign didn't have enough room or the owners felt as it was frequented by locals who all spoke French, it wasn't necessary.
The patisserie, which was a part of the restaurant was great also. They had all kinds of delicacies which we would stock up on and snack on in our room.

We also would go to old Montreal, the original town with buildings dating back to the 17th century, many of which were historical and archaeological museums. There were wonderful open air markets and little alleys with stores in old buildings off the alleys. There were artists showing their paintings in the street and along the riverfront and many street performers. Acrobats, mimes, etc. Great stuff. We were getting a little hungry one day in vieux Montreal so we decided to go in to a little patisserie and have a bite. In this section of town no one spoke any English except the Asian and Indian shop owners. Ironic. Well, we had been out all day and I had to use the bathroom, so I asked the waitress where the men's room was and she stared at me trying to understand. I really had to go and was getting desperate. I started using words like bathroom, men's room, ladies room, washroom, toilet. The light dawned when I said "toilet". She said "Ah, toillette" and pointed to the wall behind where I was sitting. There was a tiny latch ring on the wall and when you stuck your finger in it and pulled it was a door to the "toilette".The wallpaper cleverly covered the door so you didn't even know it was there. If I didn't think it was impolite to say toilet, I wouldn't have had to wait so long to use it. Just in time for both of us.

The next day i took the dog for a walk and he peed on the McGill University campus. That was the highlight of the trip. There was probably a sign in French saying "do not walk your dog" or "no peeing on the grass" and I didn't know what it meant. Tough s**t. My dog certainly didn't speak French.

P. S. Read the English translation on the sign and please explain what it says in the comments.

Bon nuit, mes amis. English translation. You figure it out.